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                                              “…but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; 
                                                                          
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.”  ~ Isaiah 40:29-31 

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Wrestling God in the Shower

By Debe Haller

August 2006

 

When you wrestle with God in the shower three things occur.

First you get drenched;

second you sob but can’t tell how many tears you shed since you’re already wet; and

third you are humbled by His wisdom while once again admitting He is God, and you are not. 

 

After weeks of prayer and discussion culminating with my recent wrestling match with God in the shower, our (single-parent of two) son Bryan, my hubby Danny and I decided to enroll Bubs (age 10) and Ashlen (age 6) at Grace Christian School for a season of time.  A few weeks ago when my mother was in the hospital and my sister was distraught just prior to mom’s release I had the thought to add a room on for my mom, move the school back to our house, and be able to help Bryan raise his kids by schooling them as a stay-at-home grandma.  But, immediately I was hit with the reality that my mom could move with sister siter to Washington… or our good Lord could call her home, and Bryan could move to …  I don't know, Idaho came to mind.  When I told Bryan about my wrestling revelation from God, he said he would not move… at least not to Idaho.   My grandchildren must stay under the authority and responsibility of their father. I must stay under the authority of God and my husband.  I am to trust God for the care of the generation before me and after me.  God will work it out.  He has made it clear that I am not their savior.  There is only One Savior.   After twenty-plus years of building a ministry and business within the home education community, I am to continue doing so.  I ministered to the needs of my family before and, by God's grace, I will continue to do so.

 

I loved having grandchildren with me to “store school” at the Schoolhouse the past couple of years.  All the love I have for my children is compounded in my love for my grandchildren. Not only do grandparents have the same love for their grandchildren as for their own children, it is coupled with years of wisdom and yet  no authority over the next generation’s lives.  What an awesome privilege!  My heart rejoices in knowing I have the chance to make an eternal influence in each one of their precious lives.  I know God will continue to provide opportunities for that longing to be met, even if the future circumstances are different than I previously imagined.

 

Although we believe that influencing the next two (maybe three) generations for eternity is a priority, we also agree that my husband’s plan is for me to invest time in building a business that we can share when he retires.  Bryan will take more responsibility for the schooling of his children and their daily schedule which will include additional help Bubs needs to correct his phonological speech challenge.   In due course, our entire family will benefit from our joint ministry efforts.  Reality is that I am not ultimately responsible for my mom or any of our grandkids.  However, as God would have it, this new schedule has already strangely freed me to be more flexible to all of their needs. 

 

God has given me peace and the word “season” as I let go of the desire for moment-by-moment contact with my grandchildren during school hours.  When faced with difficult times my mother always says, “This is only temporary.”   This is a season of life for me, and seasons are all temporary. 

 

We’ve added a futon sofa to our school room at the Schoolhouse where my mother may rest when she has another temporary medical set-back and all our grandkids can still play or do homework.   Thank you all for your support and friendship.  It will be a blessed year. 

 

 “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning: great is Your faithfulness. I say to myself, ‘the Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for Him.’ The Lord is good to those whose hope is in Him, to the one who seeks Him.”

-Lamentations 3:22-25

 

 

 


Hope Christian Academy, 16478 Beach Blvd. #394, Westminster, California 92683
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